Men are Cats. Women are Dogs

“The dogs did it.”

-A Cat

I am the mother of a daughter and a son, as different and compatible as salt and pepper.

When my son Charlie entered college, he began to bristle at the amount of generalized man-bashing he was exposed to on campus, online and in even in casual conversation.  Charlie is neither insensitive nor a pig.  He is kind and loving and hilarious, has a quick temper and hates injustice

It’s hard to speak honestly about something as basic as gender differences these days without putting a guy on the defensive.  Not gender equality…gender differences. How males and females differ in many ways beyond their body parts.

I work in areas of the world where women and girls suffer beyond imagination for one reason only, that they are female.  Things aren’t that rosy for women in our country either, so I wanted to give my son a perspective that would help him take things less personally. I offered him the following fiction:

Imagine a world where there were an equal number of cats and dogs. For some reason, cats had ruled this world for centuries, which was not ideal for the dogs. 

Dogs were considered a convenient and necessary species, mostly because they made life easier for cats.  Dogs could be useful, even delightful. Some considered them a cat’s best friend, admired and loved their dogs, treated them as equals and supported expanded rights for dogs.

Expectations and opportunities, however, were deeply rooted in what was best for cats. Globally, dogs were kept on a very short leash.

In countries controlled by feline dictators, or regions where even the cats were poor, dogs had it especially bad.  They learned to fear the menacing purr of the patriarchy.

Felines had biological imperatives that fashioned many of the rules.  Cats tended to be territorial and competitive. They evolved with excellent survival skills, some even claiming nine lives. But felines were poor communicators and lacked empathy. They loved to fight. Had cats ruled the world for centuries, there would have been fewer rodents, cleaner streets, and songbird extinction.  Sharper claws. More wars. Less unconditional love.

There is a reason that there are no service cats.

Dogs were biologically programmed to nurture and protect.  Their primary focus was family and community. They were smart and intuitive. Dogs sensed when to wag their tails and spread the happy around or be silent and comfort others. 

If dogs had ruled the world, there would be fewer wars and more compromise.  There would be more joy. There was actually a study done that showed that dogs love Bob Marley.

I confess that I am a dog person, have always been allergic to cats and once, after having consumed too many mojitos, did in fact pee next to a fire hydrant.  Too much?

The bottom line is that a world dominated by cats would not only be excruciating for dogs, it would also limit potential, both canine and feline. It’s just a matter of time before dogs that are under-represented, overworked and abused will get off the leash, form a pack and go after the misogynistic cats.

So yes, my son, the dogs are angry.